Why The Hardest Goodbyes Are The Ones You Didn’t Get To Say

Bodyrock.tv|Erin Foley

Closure is a tough thing to understand. It is really kind of an abstract concept and yet it is something we always talk about at the end of relationships.
No one really knows how to get it. It seems to be a different thing for everyone. For some, it comes easily. For others, it is insanely hard. It depends on a lot of things but one big obstacle to closure seems to be not having had a chance to say goodbye. The hardest relationships to let go, are the ones without a proper goodbye.

You’re still holding on because you’re afraid to let go.

The human brain can be a little screwy. Sometimes it convinces us to love the ones that hurt us most. The pain and drama can excite us, it can make us feel. But that isn’t a reason to hold on.
Sometimes, we hang on for other reasons. Sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time or we acted like a fool and never realized how amazing s/he was and how great the relationship could have been.
Holding on to someone who left you is only making things more difficult. The really depressing part, you might not be able to let go completely. That person had been so significant in your life that s/he will always be a part of you. Always.

If you never said goodbye, never allowed yourself to let go, your mind will remain focused on the person you once loved.

You may very well still love this person on a very deep level. You need to refocus your energy. Truly loving someone is the most selfless thing we can do in this world. Be proud that you had met someone so worthy of this act. You should remember the happy times. Don’t allow memories of these times to make you sad. Better to have loved and lost….

The good news is you don’t need to say goodbye in order to get closure.

Closure could be a ‘simple’ as coming to a better understanding of your feelings. It isn’t closing the door on someone you love, it is moving on with your life and accepting that you won’t be getting back together. Closure is understanding and accepting your life and your choices as they stand today. Feeling like you need closure may mean you are feeling unsure about where your life will lead next or even where you want it to lead next. We all like to make decisions that are no brainers, they make us feel in control. But with love, we don’t often get that chance. Sometimes we aren’t the ones deciding at all. And when we are the ones deciding to walk away, to move on, we often end up reconsidering.

The truth is, saying goodbye is a little pointless. Your mind will always trick you back into seeing this person as an option. You still love them so, maybe there’s a chance? It is far better to just accept things the way they are. We all have that one person in your lives we’d run back to at the drop of a hat. So, accept that as the facts and stop fighting it. It just is.
Closure doesn’t need to be about forgetting. But it does need to be about acceptance.